


The Day Cody Went Nuts

by CC2O2O



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Absolutely not canon compliant, Attempt at Humor, BIG fix it, Crack, Gen, and im not sorry, i had as much caf as cody, this story is bonkers lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25999615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC2O2O/pseuds/CC2O2O
Summary: There were troopers coming for him. Weapons went missing and reappeared, filled with gum. Someone wroteonly idiots walk over thison one of the many floors. Stormtroopers went on missions with moustaches drawn over their helmets with permanent marker. News spread: CC-2224 was heavily malfunctioning.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Clone Troopers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 111





	The Day Cody Went Nuts

**Author's Note:**

> my english is bad, im still sad due to s7 and i love cody. 
> 
> there you go, you have all the facts.

_Day 1_ : Cody woke up. He was a good soldier. Cody went back to bed.

 _Day 47_ : Cody woke up. He was a good soldier. Cody went back to bed.

 _Day 234:_ Cody woke up. He was a good soldier. Cody went back to bed.

Cody woke up. _Execute order 66. Have I ever let you down? Blast him! Sometimes in war, it’s hard to be the one who survives._ Oh dear. Oh god. He was most definitely _not_ a good soldier. Cody went back to bed. He couldn’t sleep.

He didn’t know what started it. One day, he was a happily programmed man, enjoying his brainwashed self. The next day, he looked into the mirror and oh dear, oh god, did he look _depressing_. Cody made himself feel worse by simply staring at his very own and very tired face. He drank a liter caf that day. He remembered a faint whisper, a familiar voice, rambling on about chips, how it was not his fault. It seemed a long time ago. He drank ~~a liter~~ two liters of caf.

Sometimes, Cody wished his chip would still work, because _oh god_ , if he had to talk _one more time_ to one of those plain stupid stormtroopers, he might as well kill them. Or himself. Or this entire ship. ~~Why did this sound like a reasonable idea?~~ Un-scratch that, this _was_ a reasonable idea. Cody went back to bed. He still couldn't sleep.

Cody woke up. He drank (the most horrible, distasteful) caf ( _ever_ ). ~~He missed the Republic. They had real good caf.~~ He looked into his mug; his face mirrored in the brown liquid. Well. He still was in a leading position. He still had access to some files. Well. Cody had always been a man for treason.

Cody grabbed the nearest data pad he could find, logged in and deleted all the files he could delete. He didn’t even know what he was deleting. Was it the training plan for the troopers? Man, he did _so not_ have any idea what he was doing. He looked at his mug, still filled with caf, and dropped it. It shattered loudly.

“Whoops.”

There were troopers coming for him. Weapons went missing and reappeared, filled with gum. Someone wrote _only idiots walk over this_ on one of the many floors. Stormtroopers went on missions with moustaches drawn over their helmets with permanent marker. News spread: CC-2224 was heavily malfunctioning. Find him. Capture him. Decommission him. Too bad they sent the most idiotic dumpsters after him. Cody _literally_ sat under the sink and ate a fucking sandwich and they _still_ did not find him.

Until a trooper bend over and swayed a tube of mayonnaise. ~~How come the Empire had mayonnaise and the Republic only ever had protein bars?~~

“You want some?”

Cody shrugged. “Sure.”

As chance would have it, it was CC-5052, also known as a very _very_ frustrated and misanthropic Bly. His chip had no juice left and “I regret all my life choices that brought me to this point” ran in his home cinema. Bly was the first one – but most definitely not the last.

There was Thire. There was Appo. There was Boil.

Cody thought they were like a gang. A very sad and very depressed gang. But a gang, nonetheless.

Armor disappeared when troopers went under the shower. Someone changed the receiving frequency of the troopers’ comlinks – no one got an order, everyone listened to soup opera. Bacara once disappeared for five minutes and caused a huge brawl in a crowd of stormtroopers. They reprogrammed Tarkin’s hologram projector to only project Zabrak porn.

Cody wrangled himself in one of the investigation units. They spread on a planet where they suspected a rebel to hide. And they _did_ find one. ~~Rex, the dyslexic idiot, did most definitely _not_ understand the word hiding.~~ The stormtroopers pointed their blasters at him. Cody waved. Rex blinked. And then, Cody shot the three troopers in front of him.

The fourth trooper immediately raised his hands. “Please shoot me, I’m suicidal.”

“Oh, nice. Didn’t know you were coming, too, Jet.”

Rex blinked again. “Wha-?”

“Don’t worry, Captain. I won’t put you in charge of _this_ ”, Cody grinned, watching his brother’s eyes widen. That day, Cody got a tight hug from his closest ~~idiot~~ brother and _so_ many questions, he immediately felt a migraine coming.

“Wolffe and Gregor are with me, you can-“

“Nope, gotta prank the Empire.”

Rex raised an eyebrow. Cody smiled. “Don’t worry about us. We’ll come back.”

Jet gave a thumbs up. One last time, Cody squeezed the shoulder of his brother – then he put his helmet back on and together with Jet, he returned to the rest of the investigation unit. Rex heard him scream something like _‘that rebel scum shot three of us’_ and _‘he tries to flee, follow me!’_ before he ran off in the exact opposite direction of where Rex was standing.

_Kick me_ stood written on the back of the stormtroopers’ armor.

Rex grinned.

Grenades and weapons started to disappear. Tanks of _ammonium nitrate_ started to disappear. And they weren’t even subtle. Chopper was literally just punching the guard of the armory for a few minutes while Crys leaned yawning against the wall. Not that anyone was watching. For some unknown reason, the surveillance video got replaced with a rec of a pooping bantha.

That night, they drank bantha blasters. Bly raised his glass. “To the bantha which _did_ have something to blast off.”

News spread: Stormtroopers who had fought as clone troopers in the Clone Wars were heavily malfunctioning. The announcement echoed through the cruiser. Cody nodded gravely while Fireball and Wooley set their old bunks on fire.

No more hiding. No more brainless actions. _Good soldiers follow orders_ his ass.

Cody left the chamber, closely followed by Wooley and Fireball. While walking along the hallway, his other brothers joined them, too, one after another. When they entered the hangar, Cody felt like a commander all over again, walking in front of a battalion.

The stormtroopers didn’t stand a chance.

They hijacked every ship they could find and set off with a hanger standing in flames. Sitting comfortably in the co-pilot seat, Bly started unpacking a bottle of Desert Bloom while Cody activated the detonator. The cruiser suddenly disappeared in a huge explosion. Bly looked up. “You heard sumthin’?”

There was mutual headshaking.

Cody smiled for the first time in a very long time. Thinking about Rex and his other brothers, it was finally time to get back home.


End file.
